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it balances perfectly, stands up straight, feels very well constructed. i bought some heavy-duty metal feet to add to the shelf just in case, but haven’t needed to install them as the shelf holds up well by itself. helps that there is a heavy pine backboard which pulls weight towards the wall rather than tipping forward. very pleased with this considering I was speeding through the process as fast as possible in order to build it quickly without annoying the neighbours too much with the noise. built this whole shelf in about 4 hours! all by myself. this shelf weighs about half my body weight, so… lol.

anyway. turns out, i’m a natural born cloutier? makes sense. our family name is Cloutier (Cloutier-Dupont). has been for hundreds of years, at that point it becomes part of a family tree’s dna, doesn’t it? my mother is a very talented artist and craftsman as well. she’s not only a very good artist but can apply it in a very practical (useful) manner. she never made too much money at it but i’m a good accountant, i probably could.

there is an opportunity out there waiting for me to actualize it…

it’s just a shelf. but considering it is my first try at such a tall, heavy piece of furniture. and i built it as quickly as possible, no dawdling or too much time to think it through. i slapped it together, and slapped it good.

i even added little hard wood screw hole caps to make it pretty. come on. it’s a work of art. i love it.

• the idea of moving to the west coast, bringing the healthiest and most creative aspects of Quebecois culture with me to help create beautiful cities that people from all economic backgrounds are happy to live in.
• the idea of becoming an architect (master’s level) and bioengineer (phd). or some variation thereof. as I’d like to design and build new life as much as immovable structures.
• the idea of having a small home in the city and acres of land to establish a homestead in the country, linking the two together through a business or non-profit. living in the city is exhausting and living in the country is boring, thus the ideal is to enjoy the best of both worlds and somehow make a decent living doing it.
• the idea of founding an edible botanical garden and working ranch on the coast open to the public that offers year-round workshops in masonry, metalworking, carpentry, basic electrical & mechanical, agriculture, beekeeping, botany, first aid, archery, martial arts, traditional and modern games, and survival skills/scouting for adults. would be nice if it was a profitable venture but break even is good enough.
• founding a robust biohacking makerspace
• reaching peak physical and mental health and having children of my own in a few years. if I do not have eggs left at that point then availing to maternal spindle transfer so I can have my own biological children, as childhood trauma has prevented me from doing so up to this point and I’m still not ready yet… thus must focus on my physical, mental and financial health above all else if I’m to ever have a family
• owning a private lab where I can grow rare plant and animals species to replenish native populations and if possible, create a very profitable business to fund all the aforementioned projects. which is not necessarily impossible.
• learning to be a better friend and have healthy relationships with others, both personal and professional

if humanity develops super soldiers, they better be super emotionally healthy too

otherwise…

indeed

that’s a lot of brains

“Why do people get into athletic slumps? Because negativity turns off their cerebellum and they become just a little less coordinated”

once doctors start scanning patient brains as commonly as taking their temperature, and discovering legitimate brain injuries and concrete evidence of neurological trauma, it will be much more difficult to stigmatize people with PTSD.

it will also become much easier for victims of psychological abuse to prove bodily injury since psychological abuse causes lesions on the brain. thus allowing victims to file personal injury lawsuits against their abusers for emotional trauma.

right now, even doctors themselves behave like emotional abuse, like being screamed at as a child for years on end or sexually exploited, causes no physical harm. which is not even scientifically accurate. child abuse causes neurological damage. a physical injury.

urban pollution also causes neurological damage. a physical injury.

workplace abuse causes neurological damage. a physical injury too.

lawyers are going to love it.

so will victims of neurological trauma.

good emotional self-regulation is the cornerstone of cognitive security – and authenticity it turns out. otherwise we are stumbling through life reacting to other people and environmental stimuli.

it’s like you cannot truly know yourself until you are in control of yourself.