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early years, 1980-1982.

a problem with wes anderson films: character wardrobe is SPARKLING clean, and so is their language. real explorers have filthy shoes and smudges on their clothes. traipsing through city and woods collecting specimens is muddy work.

from left to right: keith, neil, steve, niomi
that’s a fish hanging off my finger and me trying not to gag with disgust lol. flanking me are two Sisters of Charity. Steve behind me, Keith in front.
Animaland amusement park, New Brunswick, Canada
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Bernice Cloutier having Dow beers in the kitchen, 1950’s, NDG, Montreal

My Grandmother, Bernice Cloutier, having a beer from the local Dow Brewery, where both my grandfathers worked, both the Hills and the Murrays. I believe this is how my mother met my father, through a Dow Brewery party or cinq-a-sept with staff after work. I’m not sure, I should ask my mother.

Those beers eventually killed my grandmother. Beer and cigarettes.

Look at the bags under her eyes, they looked like bruises the older she got…

Years of sleep deprivation because of the booze, cigarettes and a bad heart.

She was fun to party with but immature and ultimately a neglectful, abusive mother and grandmother. But I loved her.

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frankly

the fact that i’ve still managed to produce good quality work under so much stress and condescension and constant conflict is a testament to my ability to excel and succeed despite a ton of entry barriers and obstacles

despite everything, i have not been broken, i’m highly ethical, good at my job and kind to people

keep the faith

break the cycle