Niomi

is this what normal feels like? I have never felt so stable and calm in my entire life

I only took 2 doses of 2.5mg of propranolol today and my startle response has gone from 9/10 to 2/10

wish I had been given beta blockers as a kid, would have saved a lifetime of suffering and misery.

interesting reaction: instead of my heart jumping into my throat and jackhammering when I’m startled or suddenly stressed out, my skin will flush with hot, sharp tingles. Similar feeling as beta alanine, which wasn’t very effective at alleviating anxiety, that I noticed at least. Plus, beta alanine made my skin feel like it was on fire for hours on end. Wouldn’t recommend, personally.

Propranolol only makes my skin tingle when I’m suddenly stressed or startled, and only for a few seconds. Very effective at mood stabilizing today. Judging by others’ feedback on this particular med, which is very positive, I’m feeling very optimistic about it helping me get past some debilitating roadblocks.

Everything feels very peaceful and manageable…

good omen.

choose health.

and natural hot springs. and giant cedars. and orcas and shit.

watching the way cocaine has destroyed my mother, and her life, finances, friendships, career, relationships with her children, is a devastating experience that I would not wish on the children of even my worst enemies

please check into rehab and exorcise the poison that is cocaine from your CHILDREN’s lives and your own life, immediately.

you can do it.

like, who can manage 20 cash registers at once AND act as a security guard AND an on-site accountant checking every customer’s bill before they open a gate, like customers are CATTLE in a kill factory. hate that gate so much. very obnoxious to those of us who DON’T steal from retail stores.

very badly managed. way too much work for one employee to manage alone when the self-checkout registers are even HALF available, never mind during a sales rush.

lol this is my morning rant

Maxi, do better. That poor employee looked stressed tf out and angry customers are not their fault, bad employer.

and now this man is a police officer and the cops are protecting not only him but Steve Dufour too, because Steve Dufour is a witness to Dino Granberg sexually abusing me, because Dino TOLD HIM TO DO IT TO ME!

Dino ran us kids and our foster home like his own personal grooming ground.

I don’t care if David Eley abused Dino and Steve anymore. I’m tired of making excuses for men who have NEVER stopped harassing/stalking/sabotaging/abusing me.

Dino and Steve are both bisexual, Steve is more gay-leaning, they are also both former lovers and is one of the reasons Steve hates me so much: he wanted Dino all to himself.

They are also into sadomasochism and both have very old friends in the Montreal and Toronto film industry.

David Eley made videos of him and his friends abusing children, my biological brother was one of his “subjects” who starred in a couple of commercials when he was a kid. There must be footage out there, I doubt he destroyed it. He DEFINITELY filmed himself abusing my brother.

David Eley was a popular film studies professor at Concordia University and made a lot of friends in the Montreal and Toronto film scene, especially the gay film scene. This man is LOVED despite raping children. David Eley is old friends with Norman Jewison, a director in Toronto, who is suss too.

sickening.

Béyonce (Dupont) Knowles-Carter.

so evil

Lucie Belair and Maude Furtado are pure evil. Bullying a victim of child rape so my landlord can turn my apartment into an Airbnb.

pure evil.