Niomi

to live among good people

current life-saving mantra

what my brain feels like when experiencing acute traumatic stress

it’s temporary, thank goodness, but devastating

panicked, like a trapped and cornered animal, essentially.

i’m learning to recognize dangerous people and immediately take measures to protect myself and move to a healthier environment rather than freezing and allowing the behaviour and abuse to continue for months on end.

Self-defence against Machiavellian personalities, I need to fuckin’ master it.

a trait I struggle greatly with

I was raised to resist peer pressure and resist doing the same thing that everybody else is doing. It’s not an inherent trait, I was taught to behave this way. Resist peer pressure.

There must be a way to teach children to be individuals and think for themselves, but also play well with others.

anyway.

I admire a group of people who work in perfect harmony together to create a beautiful thing. Not just music, but pretty much anything useful or pretty or interesting.

dragging my sorry ass back up from the depths of a very bad headspace.

in touch, strong, but uplifting, healthy vibes. need more energy like this in my life.

Flowing through my fingers
All through the soil
Up in those trees

I am electricity
And I am light
I are sound itself
And I are flight

cult of life/love or gtfo

I don’t believe in religion or the supernatural but I do believe being a good person matters in the grand scheme of things, even if it doesn’t seem like so in this lifetime.

again, I am drawn towards Buddhism which contains not one word of violence or hatred towards non-believers.

might be something to it.

I may be a wee bit angry at some bullies and creeps, but not stupid or angry enough to get up on stage and incite a public audience to chant death threats at Canadians or Jews or Muslims. Definitely not cool, despite my own rage, definitely not something I support or would do myself.

This is not Canadian behaviour or Canadian culture.

This is a deportable offence.

or worse, Cokehead Catholics 😬💩🤷‍♀️

I’m thinking about buying a solid 4×4 hybrid that can haul at mid-size trailer and taking my time driving it to the west coast with my cats and perhaps a small dog and a human or two, we’ll see… and living in it until I can find a house to rent with a yard or a live-in workspace with a sunny yard I can use.

All I know is, I want to manage my own space rather than living in someone else’s space and it needs to be pet-friendly with some sort of quiet outdoor yard with direct sunlight so I can plant a garden and work on projects outside as needed.

This is better than a hostel or Airbnb especially if I’m parked near a beach or in a secure RV park with a pool etc. and the same price as a studio in any major city along the west coast except I actually own my own home and can move it at will. Sounds like a nice way to relax and repair my broken ass self for a year or two as I work on starting my own business, hopefully improving the community in some way that doesn’t make me feel like shit to live a financially comfortable lifestyle.